


a distinct lack of honesty

by clarence_sage



Series: bored [2]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Gen, I don't know what else to add really, Manipulation, Murder, Psychopath Holden Ford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 19:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20345422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarence_sage/pseuds/clarence_sage
Summary: "If any killer was going to avoid getting caught, it would be him."Holden turns to other measures to stave off the boredom.





	a distinct lack of honesty

**Author's Note:**

> Once again it's not very good.

He was bored. He just wanted things to be funny again. He had an  _ idea  _ of what he could do, but he’d never actually  _ killed _ anyone before. He’d thought about doing it. That is to say, he was an  _ FBI Agent.  _ If any killer was going to avoid getting caught, it would be him. He knew the ins and outs of investigation, so he knew what kind of clues not to leave. The biggest problem would be avoiding patterns, and trying not to go for anyone too close to where he lived or too close to him socially. 

No, the biggest problem would be trying to keep it a secret. He’d want to tell  _ everyone _ . 

Perhaps he could do it for a while, and then he could actually turn himself in. Being incarcerated might make things difficult, might get a little repetitive, remove his freedom. But imagine how priceless the look on Bill’s face would be when Holden revealed himself. Bill would be shell-shocked. Devastated. It would be  _ incredible.  _

Or maybe he could make Bill paranoid. Make Bill start to suspect him, while everyone else told Bill that it was ridiculous and insane to suggest such a thing. That sounded like a good idea. 

His ex-girlfriend had described him as  _ sweet  _ and  _ curious.  _ Sure, she said he’d changed, and everyone thought that Holden’s supposed obsession with serial killers was… a little odd. Something a bit off about him. But who would really, genuinely suspect  _ sweet and curious Holden Ford _ of multiple homicides? 

Holden knew that Bill was only pretending to sleep when he snuck out of their motel room in the late hours of the night. When it came out that someone had been murdered around the same time Holden was out, Bill would likely chalk it up to a coincidence. Until it happened again and again and again. And then Bill would see a pattern. And Bill would become paranoid. And then Holden could toy with him. 

Holden would make sure that nobody would believe Bill. After he faked the panic attack in the hospital, he’d gone along with the doctor’s diagnosis of panic disorder. He’d even feigned more attacks, even spoken to Wendy about it. Holden didn’t always like playing vulnerable, but if Wendy and Gregg thought he was vulnerable, he could use that to assure their certainty of his innocence. 

If they asked where he went at night, he could say he was having nightmares. He could say he’d developed insomnia, and a habit of going on late night walks. Perhaps he could even develop some kind of addiction, to make them see him as even more vulnerable. Weak and clearly incapable of being the murderer. Alcohol, cigarettes, something along those lines. 

Of course there were patterns that not even people who he tried to trick could deny. Which meant he’d have to break the pattern sometimes. Go on a kill in places that Bill didn’t know he was. Avoid going on a kill at least half of the times he and Bill travelled for work. 

Now though, he’d stop thinking about that, and instead simply focus on this. His first time. 

Bill pretended to be asleep, pretended not to notice as he slipped out of the hotel room. 

Holden got in the car they’d borrowed and drove around the streets. Found some kid, maybe 17, 18 years old, wandering around the streets at night. So he pulled over and offered him a lift. Holden was pleased when the kid accepted almost straight away. 

Holden reaped the benefits of his approachable appearance. People found him unthreatening. Unintimidating. People tended to assume, just based on how he looked, that he was trustworthy and kind. 

It wasn’t very original, but still Holden smirked as he drove the kid to a wooded area, well out of the way. By the time the kid actually noticed where they were, and where they seemed to be headed, it was too late. But by this point Holden could see the sweat gathering on his forehead, the panic in his eyes and the clear indicators of the ‘I’ve fucked up’ realisation all over him. The kid tried to discreetly check if the car door was locked, but Holden noticed. 

He would’ve strangled the guy, but it was too much effort. After Holden dragged him out of the car, he cut his throat with a knife Bill didn’t know he had. A knife that he cleaned damn well and threw in a dumpster. He didn’t get blood on himself. He was lucky, but he was sure to cut his throat from behind, avoiding the blood. 

He stopped at a bar on the way back. It was one of those ones that was open late. He slammed a couple drinks back before he gets back to the motel. He wondered if Bill would be able to smell the alcohol on him, or if it was too subtle. He wondered if Bill would ask where he’d been when they left in the morning. In any case, he had an excuse. He was out drinking, he’d say, though he wouldn’t be too quick to admit it. He’d take his time, probably use some evasion before he gave in. Pretend to be sheepish, guilty. Ashamed. The underlying words in the confession, the real admission: ‘I’m damaged’. But it would be a lie. Only, Bill wouldn’t know that. 

After about four more times, Holden was taking great amusement from the way Bill seemed wary of him. He took breaks in between. Didn’t kill sometimes, when they went away. Did kill when they didn’t. 

He had to use the drinking excuse a couple of times. He didn’t know if Bill was scared for him, or scared of him. Holden didn’t know for sure, but he suspected Bill didn’t know either. He thought that perhaps Bill had noticed the pattern, but didn’t want to think that it was Holden. Maybe even felt guilty about thinking that it could be Holden. 

Holden continued to pretend to be delicate. Faked a few more panic attacks. Let his smile drop too quickly, too often, staring at the wall in apparent depression when other people thought he thought nobody was looking. Made his laughs sound strained. 

Once, he engineered a situation where Gregg found him crying in the men’s room. He knew Gregg would tell Bill and Wendy about it. He could tell by the way the other two looked at him when he walked into the office one day, that Gregg had told them. 

They didn’t talk about it. Holden pretended he didn’t notice the change. 

He came into work drunk once, just for fun. It made the others worry about him. He did it because he could. He wanted to, so he did. 

He couldn’t wait to see their faces, the day they realised what he was. 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, psychopaths and sociopaths have been known to develop substance addictions out of boredom. This isn’t massively related to the plot but it’s slightly relevant.


End file.
